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Almost Paradise
Gracie’s Originally uploaded by MikeOliveri. You know it’s a bad sign when you ask a local “Where can I get a good Italian beef sandwich?” and they reply “You mean like an Arby’s?” After I sent...
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Substantialiscious
According to my Snickers wrapper, “substantialiscious” is the weight of something when you weigh it with your tongue. Uh, sure. I didn’t want a king-size Snickers, but that’s all I could find at the...
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The Quest for Italian Beef
Spotted Cow Italian Beef Originally uploaded by MikeOliveri. Why is it so hard to find a good Italian Beef sandwich around here? The first person I asked where I could get one thought I was looking...
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Vertucci's Chicago Style Eats
Vertucci’s Italian Combo Originally uploaded by MikeOliveri. After last night’s disappointing Italian beef outing, I decided I had to try again. This evening, the Midget and I dropped by Vertucci’s...
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The Continued Quest for (Proper) Italian Beef
I think Italian beef disintegrates into nothingness after it gets a certain distance from Chicago. After several attempts, I have yet to find a place in Peoria that gets it exactly right. There are...
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Back Away from the Chorizo
I like chorizo. I’ve had it in fajitas, burritos, chili, appetizers, and omelettes. Spicy pork? Yes, please. The local grocery stores sometimes stock fresh-ground chorizo, but more often than they just...
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I Ate a Frickin’ Shark!
Okay, so it was just an iridescent shark. Still sounds a lot more impressive than “swai,” anyway This thing is basically an Asian catfish. I picked up a bag of filets cheap, and today I broiled one up...
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The 5th Quarter Drops the Ball on Beef
A friend discovered an eatery over in East Peoria had changed hands and become The Fifth Quarter Sports Bar & Pizzeria, and they had Italian Beef on the menu. We’re both Portillo’s fans struggling...
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Why the Hell Would You Eat That? McD’s Fries
It doesn’t take a genius to understand McDonald’s food isn’t great for you, and after seeing Supersize Me, I tend to avoid the golden arches as best I can. There are times, however, I’m in a hurry or I...
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Why the Hell Would You Eat That: Bullshit Meat
Processed meat is not good for us. Aside from cutting a hunk of meat off an animal, slapping it with spices, and throwing it over a fire, there’s not much you can do to meat that makes your body say,...
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Why the Hell Would You Eat That: Big Chain Pizza
Let’s get this out of the way up front: if you’re getting a pizza from a big pizza chain, you may as well be eating frozen pizza. Don’t trust any pizza place that can “run out of crusts,” because...
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Nature Has Selected Me to Die
Okay, so maybe it’s not that bad. Here’s the deal: I have several friends who get all choked up when the plants start having sex. The trees and grass start spraying their loads in the air, and these...
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